Guy1: That girl’s kinda cute.Guy2: What?! She looks like a recovering heroin addict!Guy1: Yea. Exactly.
–Foggy Bottom
Entries Tagged as 'Drugs and Booze'
Heroin chic is so 5 minutes ago. Give me a meth addict any day.
November 3rd, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
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Don’t insult their beer, the yuppies will attack!
October 17th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
Guy with strong southern accent to friend: “No, see, I got a Stella. I know you heard of it. Stella AR-toys?”
– Whitlow’s on Wilson, referring (presumably) to his Stella Artois beer
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You never forget your first time.
September 26th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
Girl: That guy has a bong! That’s awesome! I’ve never seen one before! Usually I’m just like hey, I smell pot.
-Virgin Music Festival
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That crack that we beat up a hobo for was pretty cheap too.
September 25th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
In line at the Spout Run Giant:
“Man, Tony really got a good deal on that keg he stole.”
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Beer + tree stump + nails + hammer = WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!
September 8th, 2006 · 3 Comments · Drugs and Booze
Mid-twenties girl #1: “We used to play a lot of beirut in college”
Mid-twenties girl #2: “We had this drinking game we used to play. We would get a tree stump and put it in someones room. Then, we’d each put a nail it in. Then, we threw a hammer up in the air, [...]
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What’s the going rate for weed these days?
August 29th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze, Residentially Challenged
A bum/entrepreneur corners another guy in line for a concert.
Bum: “Hey man I only got $2 and tickets are $10. Can you help me out?”Cornered guy: “Uhhh….. fine, here’s $1.”Bum: “You know if you gave me 8, I could get in…”Cornered guy: “Sorry dude… you’re gonna have to get the rest some other [...]
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You have smoked yourself retarded.
August 4th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze, GW
Stoned girl on the other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.Nurse: Okay… was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?Girl laughing: I ate a a stress ball!!
a few minutes later…
Doctor: Now this makes me uncomfortable.Girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.Doctor: Are you [...]
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Ode to post-college drinking.
August 2nd, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
Tuesday August 1, 2006 11:15 pm
Drunk guy on OnTap bus trip: Guys, I can’t go to work tomorrow, I’m gonna call my boss. (whips out cell phone, calls boss’s cell phone)Drunk guy to boss: Hey man, I’m not going to make it into work tomorrow.(Boss responds, we can hear part of his conversation): Why? Where [...]
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If you like a fat bowl so much why don’t you marry it?
July 14th, 2006 · No Comments · Drugs and Booze
Guy: I was about to call and cancel meeting up for happy hour. I just got TiVo and seriously all I want to do right now is go home, smoke a fat bowl and watch Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.
– The Pour House
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Ooh, do they make watermelon flavored cocaine?
July 10th, 2006 · 1 Comment · Drugs and Booze
Girl: You would never snort coke off of a stripper’s back!Guy: Yeah, you’re right. How about a pixie stick then?
– West End
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