Eavesdrop DC

“OK I’ve stopped listening to your conversation. I’m going back to looking at pictures of Channing Tatum.”
–Guy at Tune Inn.

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Member of Congress to two staffers exiting an elevator: “You just got off the Members’ elevator, right? DON’T DO THAT!”
–Longworth

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At Pour House in Cap Hill:
Guy: You don’t like beer? Why?
Girl: It tastes like urine. Would you drink your own urine?
Guy: I would if it had beer in it.

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Overheard on Capitol Hill: “Oh, that crazy blind guy is crossing the street. What a train wreck. Well, a car wreck, but still….

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“Why are we going in a cage?”
- Female teeny bopper, on entering the glass-encased viewing area above the Great Reading Room at the Library of Congress

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Overheard in a certain library on the Hill.
Early-20-something researcher to late-20-something editor:“You know, the hours [a certain library on the Hill] pays you while you watch bootleg movies and episodes of “How I Met You Mother” is basically your share of the stimulus plan.”

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Guy screaming at another guy while getting thrown out of a bar:Guy 1: I’m going to kick your ass!Guy getting thrown out: You know what? I’m going to shove my mother’s dick up your ass!

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Eastern Market at lunch timeOne girl is standing at the bus stop and sees her friend walk by.
Girl 1: Hey girl, what’s up how’s your summer? You still runnin’ ’round with that bad boy?Girl 2: Oh no, he dead.Girl 1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?Girl 2: Few weeks ago. It don’t matter. We weren’t [...]

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Female Hill Staffer: “Why is Tiger wearing red and black again?”
Male Hill Staffer: “It must be his ‘Championship’ colors because he always wears it on Sunday”
Female Hill Staffer: “He probably wears it when he knows he’s taking bitches down too”
–the Hill

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