Eavesdrop DC » Metro

Not that funny, but you guys need to send us more funny stuff. No pressure.

eavesdropdc — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 14:04:30 +0000

On metro during one of the many delays on the red line, waaay too many people were packed onto the train.

Man squished in the middle of the train, holding the ceiling for support:

“Man, this is a workout! I didn’t plan on exercising today. Man, this is a workout! I guess I don’t have to do my push-ups tonight!”

I’m sure the feeling is mutual.

eavesdropdc — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:15:07 +0000

Guy preaching about the ills of the world on the metro:

“I just hope my grandparents die this year, what with the estate tax being in such flux.”

I see scary, suburban people

eavesdropdc — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 14:10:37 +0000

Guy at Adams Morgan waiting for a delayed metro:

“I was looking at a metro map the other day, and I wonder: why do they have metro stops like White Flint and Twinbrook? Is that necessary? Do people even exist that far out?”

One line stand

eavesdropdc — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:21:58 +0000

Heard this gem coming back from U St. Friday night: “Yeah, well, this one night I met some girl on the green line and totally made out with her before the orange line”

Ice Ice Baby

eavesdropdc — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:20:43 +0000

Overheard on a yellow line train near Pentagon City:

Guy 1: daAAAmn, I need a bitch!!!

Guy 2: you coulda had one at U Street!!! . . . but I guess she was blinded by your ice . . .

Guy 1: yeah, I guess so . . . (as he fondly gazes at his bling necklaces, one of which reads “NASTY”)

Texting with benefits?

eavesdropdc — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:47:14 +0000

On the Orange Line around Metro Center, one young woman talking to another young woman:

“I just need someone that I can text when I get lonely, like a boyfriend.”

That train does sound special.

eavesdropdc — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:54:49 +0000

On Saturday, I was getting onto the metro at East Falls Church (orange line). There was construction between East Falls Church and West Falls Church, which made things confusing. The train at the station, instead of saying “New Carrollton” or “Vienna,” simply said “Special.” Naturally, a number of people asked about where the train was going, to make sure they were getting on the right train. One woman wanted to be extra sure:
Woman: Is this the train going into DC?
Metro Employee: Yes.
Woman: WASHINGTON, DC?

Can 12 years fix crazy?

eavesdropdc — Tue, 25 May 2010 15:19:54 +0000

Yellow/Green Line platform during rush hour– this is the gist

Man No. 1 is relating a story to Man No. 2:

Man No. 1: “So we were out in Adams Morgan a couple weeks ago and this girl at another table was staring at me– like really staring at me! It was creeping me out. Finally she came over and was like, ‘I know you from somewhere,’ and I said, ‘I don’t think so,’ and she said, ‘No, really, I know you from somewhere. My name is Suzy [inaudible],’– it turns out we used to date! Like, for a really long time in college, 12 years ago. She looks a lot better than she did then, we’ve been texting and calling since then.”
Man No. 2: “Do you remember why you broke up?”
Man No. 1: “She was crazy!”

That would just be silly.

eavesdropdc — Thu, 13 May 2010 17:57:31 +0000

Overheard on the red line between Union Station and Judiciary Square:

Woman 1: This metro announcer sounds different than the announcer on our last train. Do you think it’s a real person announcing the stops?

Woman 2: Definitely not.

And you, my friend, are entirely alone in that sentiment.

eavesdropdc — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:52:15 +0000

Little boy on metro at 1 am with tired grandma: “Grandma?”
Grandma: “What.”
Little boy: “I feel like I’m in a long, long limo! And someone else is driving us!”