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Eavesdrop DC

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Entries Tagged as 'Residentially Challenged'

Get that guy a record deal

September 30th, 2009 · 2 Comments · Residentially Challenged

Rosslyn, near the corner of Wilson Blvd outside of a Starbucks: Homeless man singing at the top of his lungs to the tune of Kings of Leon “Use Somebody” … Man: “You knowww that I could use some monneyyyyyyyy!!!”

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I can has a home?

April 6th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Residentially Challenged

Waiting outside kstreet lounge: Homeless man: Wanna donate to UNCF?20-something: What’s UNCF?Homeless man: United Negro Cheeseburger Fund!

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It depends, how frequently are her prayers answered?

February 11th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Residentially Challenged, Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Homeless man: Spare some change?Tourist woman: I won’t give you money, but I’ll pray with you.Homeless man: Ah shit, bitch. Do you really think your prayers will buy me a 40? -Lafayette Park

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Til death do us part

October 3rd, 2008 · 1 Comment · Residentially Challenged

Leaving the office, two coworkers chatting idly, in the background, a homeless man shouts incoherently while rattling the Express newspaper box: Coworker #1: Awww… I missed this guy. He hasn’t been around for a while.Coworker #2: Have you been listening to what he’s saying?Homeless man: (incoherent…. then, loudly:) ….so that they can learn the Declaration [...]

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EavesdropDC loves crock pots.

September 24th, 2008 · 7 Comments · GW, Residentially Challenged

[Female GW student walking through GW campus with her friends and past a crazy homeless man.] Crazy Homeless man: “Hey there little bunny, I can assist you with your rabbit tonight!” (Girl ignores comment and keeps walking) Crazy Homeless man to himself: “Ooh I would LOVE to put her slow cooker.” –GW

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Beggars CAN be choosers

May 28th, 2008 · No Comments · Residentially Challenged

Girl walking out of a restaurant with a pizza box in her hand decides to offer it to a homeless guy outside the restaurant: Girl: Hey, you want the rest of this pizza?Bum: Hmmm, what toppings you got?Girl: (mumbles toppings…didn’t catch this)Bum: (long pause) Nah, that’s okay.

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Persistence is futile

March 25th, 2008 · 2 Comments · Adams Morgan, Residentially Challenged

Homeless man on sidewalk in Adams Morgan: You got some change?Girl: No, sorry, no change.Homeless man: Well I’ll take dollars.Girl: No, no cash at all.Homeless man: Well, I’ll walk with you to the ATM.

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Hobo economics

March 10th, 2008 · No Comments · Metro, Residentially Challenged

Broke guy: I’ll give you a dollar if you give me two dollars!(inside the Gallery Place Metro)

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Hobos vs Hippies: The Epic Battle

March 4th, 2008 · No Comments · Residentially Challenged

Context: Connecticut Avenue around mid-day. Various Greenpeace fanatics around. One is professing her love of the environment on some yuppie. Another spots her next target: a tall man, long coat, just lit a cigarette. “Hello! Hi!” says the young Greenpeace campaigner.“Hey how goes it?” says the gruff tall man.“Do you love the environment?”“Yes, I do. [...]

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Polydent might help with that.

January 11th, 2008 · No Comments · Residentially Challenged

Bum to 2 girls walking down the street: “Damn girl you got a fine ass!!! If I had teeth I would bite it!” –location unknown

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