Eavesdrop DC » Residentially Challenged http://eavesdropdc.com Hear something funny? Email it to eavesdropdc@gmail.com Thu, 01 Mar 2012 18:57:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Get that guy a record deal http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/09/30/get-that-guy-a-record-deal/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/09/30/get-that-guy-a-record-deal/#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:13:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=1089 Rosslyn, near the corner of Wilson Blvd outside of a Starbucks:
Homeless man singing at the top of his lungs to the tune of Kings of Leon “Use Somebody” …
Man: “You knowww that I could use some monneyyyyyyyy!!!”
]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/09/30/get-that-guy-a-record-deal/feed/ 2 I can has a home? http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/04/06/i-can-has-a-home/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/04/06/i-can-has-a-home/#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:08:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=1003 Waiting outside kstreet lounge:

Homeless man: Wanna donate to UNCF?
20-something: What’s UNCF?
Homeless man: United Negro Cheeseburger Fund!

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/04/06/i-can-has-a-home/feed/ 1 It depends, how frequently are her prayers answered? http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/02/11/it-depends-how-frequently-are-her-prayers-answered/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/02/11/it-depends-how-frequently-are-her-prayers-answered/#comments Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:36:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=978 Homeless man: Spare some change?
Tourist woman: I won’t give you money, but I’ll pray with you.
Homeless man: Ah shit, bitch. Do you really think your prayers will buy me a 40?

-Lafayette Park

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2009/02/11/it-depends-how-frequently-are-her-prayers-answered/feed/ 1 Til death do us part http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/10/03/til-death-do-us-part/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/10/03/til-death-do-us-part/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:49:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=900 Leaving the office, two coworkers chatting idly, in the background, a homeless man shouts incoherently while rattling the Express newspaper box:

Coworker #1: Awww… I missed this guy. He hasn’t been around for a while.
Coworker #2: Have you been listening to what he’s saying?
Homeless man: (incoherent…. then, loudly:) ….so that they can learn the Declaration of Independence! To love and to cherish, to have and to hold….. (mumble, mumble)

On Connecticut Ave NW, between K and L

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/10/03/til-death-do-us-part/feed/ 1 EavesdropDC loves crock pots. http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/09/24/eavesdropdc-loves-crock-pots/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/09/24/eavesdropdc-loves-crock-pots/#comments Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:36:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=892 [Female GW student walking through GW campus with her friends and past a crazy homeless man.]

Crazy Homeless man: “Hey there little bunny, I can assist you with your rabbit tonight!”

(Girl ignores comment and keeps walking)

Crazy Homeless man to himself: “Ooh I would LOVE to put her slow cooker.”

–GW

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/09/24/eavesdropdc-loves-crock-pots/feed/ 7 Beggars CAN be choosers http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/05/28/beggars-can-be-choosers/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/05/28/beggars-can-be-choosers/#comments Wed, 28 May 2008 14:16:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=788 Girl walking out of a restaurant with a pizza box in her hand decides to offer it to a homeless guy outside the restaurant:

Girl: Hey, you want the rest of this pizza?
Bum: Hmmm, what toppings you got?
Girl: (mumbles toppings…didn’t catch this)
Bum: (long pause) Nah, that’s okay.

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/05/28/beggars-can-be-choosers/feed/ 0 Persistence is futile http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/25/persistence-is-futile/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/25/persistence-is-futile/#comments Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:47:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=737 Homeless man on sidewalk in Adams Morgan: You got some change?
Girl: No, sorry, no change.
Homeless man: Well I’ll take dollars.
Girl: No, no cash at all.
Homeless man: Well, I’ll walk with you to the ATM.

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/25/persistence-is-futile/feed/ 2 Hobo economics http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/10/hobo-economics/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/10/hobo-economics/#comments Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:48:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=723 Broke guy: I’ll give you a dollar if you give me two dollars!
(inside the Gallery Place Metro)

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/10/hobo-economics/feed/ 0 Hobos vs Hippies: The Epic Battle http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/04/hobos-vs-hippies-the-epic-battle/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/04/hobos-vs-hippies-the-epic-battle/#comments Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:49:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=717 Context: Connecticut Avenue around mid-day. Various Greenpeace fanatics around. One is professing her love of the environment on some yuppie. Another spots her next target: a tall man, long coat, just lit a cigarette.

“Hello! Hi!” says the young Greenpeace campaigner.
“Hey how goes it?” says the gruff tall man.
“Do you love the environment?”
“Yes, I do. I live in it.” he says very matter of fact.
“That’s great!” she exclaims.
“I’m homeless” he mentions.
“oh,” her deflation is almost audible above the bustle of the street.

Then, deflated, the Greenpeace campaigner knows not the protocol for this certain situation and bids the tall gruff man goodbye. Love it.

]]> http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/03/04/hobos-vs-hippies-the-epic-battle/feed/ 0 Polydent might help with that. http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/01/11/polydent-might-help-with-that/ http://eavesdropdc.com/2008/01/11/polydent-might-help-with-that/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:47:00 +0000 eavesdropdc http://eavesdropdc.com/?p=676 Bum to 2 girls walking down the street: “Damn girl you got a fine ass!!! If I had teeth I would bite it!”

–location unknown

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