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Entries Tagged as 'Tourons (Tourist + Moron)'

Technically, you are an idiot.

December 3rd, 2009 · No Comments · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Overheard In Murphy’s in Old Town Alexandria Early 20′s tourist to bartender: “Is it legal to smoke in this bar?” “Yeah, you can smoke in here. It’s legal” “So wait are we in D.C. or Washington?” “Welllll, technically they are the same, but we aren’t in either one.”

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We did bring the memorial back with us from the Crusades

August 25th, 2009 · 6 Comments · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

overheard at the Lincoln Memorial: Obese Tourist 1: “What’s that writing below the state names?” [pointing at the roman numerals] Obese Tourist 2: “I think it’s Arabic” Obese Tourist 1: “Ohhhhh, of course” [dead serious]

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Do you keep your money in your shoes?

July 27th, 2009 · No Comments · Metro, Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Typical jam-packed red line train this morning headed downtown from Bethesda. A group of tourists in matching shirts get on the already crowded train and begin making a stream of observations about the ride in. But this made me and the woman next to me burst into laughter: “Wouldn’t it be funny if we got [...]

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Wait – was the girl Stephanie Tanner?

April 9th, 2009 · 2 Comments · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

I overheard a tourist say this while walking behind me last spring while my friends and I were walking on the Mall. Girl: *points to Washington monument* Um, so like, is that where the President lives? Mom: Uh, I don’t think…so…maybe? Girl: It’s big and white, so it has to be the White House. Me: [...]

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Our Founding Fathers have never been so fiberful

March 23rd, 2009 · 2 Comments · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Look, it’s George Washington on a bus! Tourist dad to tourist family whilst pointing to an ad featuring the Quaker Oats guy – 14th and H NW

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The top half, dummy

March 5th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Tourist on the mall listing to a tour guide: Tour Guide: The Washington Monument was made in two parts that is whyit has two colors. You can see the split in the middle of themonument. Tourist: What half was made first?

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It depends, how frequently are her prayers answered?

February 11th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Residentially Challenged, Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Homeless man: Spare some change?Tourist woman: I won’t give you money, but I’ll pray with you.Homeless man: Ah shit, bitch. Do you really think your prayers will buy me a 40? -Lafayette Park

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Some people are still out there looking for the food court

January 26th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

On the mall at 5:30 am, inauguration day: Clearly a tourist: I feel really stupid.. I thought this was an actual mall. Like we were going to be watching this in front of Claire’s.

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An Inauguration Nugget (send more!)

January 21st, 2009 · 1 Comment · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Where: On the Mall near 7th street and Constitution during the inauguration Woman #1: (pushing through the crowd) Coming through, coming through. (Then stops moving).Woman #2: Excuse me you can’t just stop here in front of me.Woman #1: Well where am I supposed to go?Woman #2: Where were you before?Woman #1: North Carolina.

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Pot calling the kettle black

December 4th, 2008 · 3 Comments · Metro, Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Tourist family pointing out various stops on a platform station map: “We could get off at Potomac (pronounced Pot-o-mac) station then walk to the cemetery.” Guy in a suit standing near by corrects the pronunciation. Tourist lady smiles and says thanks. Train pulls up. Tourist lady says to family: “Let’s go in this car, that [...]

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