Eavesdrop DC

After takeoff from Dulles Airport Flight Attendant: We’ll begin the beverage service in a few moments once we’ve reached our cruising altitude. We offer a variety of sodas, and beer and wine are $5. Southwest Airlines is now completely topless, and we except only VISA and Mastercard. After a few moments. Flight Attendent: Oh my…I [...]

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Overheard, downtown DC (Penn Quarter), business attire: “Do you have the… the…” (searching for exactly the right word) “internet?”

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“Did she tell you how hard it was going to hit you in the face? 68 miles per hour. Do you need me to draft up a legal waiver?”

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Guy in costume store wearing a Batman mask: “Man this is hot, I don’t know how Batman does it all the time.”

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Overheard in rush-hour traffic through an open window as we crawled south on North Washington Street, Alexandria: “NO! It’s AARON Burr, not Raymond Burr! Jee-zus!…”

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“Stupid things are happening all the time! Why aren’t you posting about them?” –Overheard in my office by someone complaining that I haven’t posted in awhile.

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Woman explaining to her friend why she sometimes doesn’t want to go out on Friday nights: “Sometimes I just want to smoke a bowl, check Facebook, and masturbate.” –overheard during a loud convo on the metro.

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A group of co-workers in the West End discussing the show Hoarders on A&E. Two guys in the group: Guy #1: Those just people have a bad case of laziness. You know what they need? Guy #2: Yeah, they need some hard love. (other co-workers in group look disgusted) Guy #1: Uh, they need tough [...]

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Two workmates at the Starbucks, 14th and New York Ave. Woman: I’m jealous of ______, she has Maxiflex. Man: you’re jealous of her tampons? Woman (looking disgusted): It’s the name of her work schedule.

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Coffee klatch overheard at the headquarters of a national intelligence agency: Guy 1: “…the whole situation was really, I dunno, ‘Saved by the Bell-ish.’” Guy 2: “Shouldn’t that be ‘Saved by the Bell-y?’” Guy 1: “‘Saved by the Belly?’ No, that was the one with Roseanne Barr.”

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