Eavesdrop DC

“Did she tell you how hard it was going to hit you in the face? 68 miles per hour. Do you need me to draft up a legal waiver?”

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Guy in costume store wearing a Batman mask:
“Man this is hot, I don’t know how Batman does it all the time.”

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Overheard in rush-hour traffic through an open window as we crawled south on North Washington Street, Alexandria: “NO! It’s AARON Burr, not Raymond Burr! Jee-zus!…”

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“Stupid things are happening all the time! Why aren’t you posting about them?”
–Overheard in my office by someone complaining that I haven’t posted in awhile.

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Woman explaining to her friend why she sometimes doesn’t want to go out on Friday nights:
“Sometimes I just want to smoke a bowl, check Facebook, and masturbate.”
–overheard during a loud convo on the metro.

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A group of co-workers in the West End discussing the show Hoarders on A&E. Two guys in the group:
Guy #1: Those just people have a bad case of laziness. You know what they need?
Guy #2: Yeah, they need some hard love.
(other co-workers in group look disgusted)
Guy #1: Uh, they need tough [...]

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Two workmates at the Starbucks, 14th and New York Ave.
Woman: I’m jealous of ______, she has Maxiflex.
Man: you’re jealous of her tampons?
Woman (looking disgusted): It’s the name of her work schedule.

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Coffee klatch overheard at the headquarters of a national intelligence agency:
Guy 1: “…the whole situation was really, I dunno, ‘Saved by the Bell-ish.’”
Guy 2: “Shouldn’t that be ‘Saved by the Bell-y?’”
Guy 1: “‘Saved by the Belly?’ No, that was the one with Roseanne Barr.”

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Heard on the sidewalk in front of Metro Center:
Woman A – Oh, no!
Woman B (a nearby stranger) – Is everything all right?
Woman A – I think I forgot to lock my car.
Woman B – Where did you leave it?
Woman A – In East Falls Church. (Stops, takes out her car key fob, points it [...]

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Guy 1: Hey did I tell you guys that I saw Alex Ovechkin in his Mercedes?
Guy 2: Whats an O’Vegican?? Is that like a Vegan Mexican?
Guy 3: Clearly you don’t follow sports whatsoever.

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