Eavesdrop DC » Uncategorized

I hear they have it on computers now.

eavesdropdc — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 18:57:58 +0000

Overheard, downtown DC (Penn Quarter), business attire: “Do you have the… the…” (searching for exactly the right word) “internet?”

And maybe get me a face shield?

eavesdropdc — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:31:46 +0000

“Did she tell you how hard it was going to hit you in the face? 68 miles per hour. Do you need me to draft up a legal waiver?”

Boom! Pow! Smack! Face Sweat!

eavesdropdc — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:08:06 +0000

Guy in costume store wearing a Batman mask:

“Man this is hot, I don’t know how Batman does it all the time.”

Burr-ned

eavesdropdc — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:52:42 +0000

Overheard in rush-hour traffic through an open window as we crawled south on North Washington Street, Alexandria: “NO! It’s AARON Burr, not Raymond Burr! Jee-zus!…”

It is true.

eavesdropdc — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 20:57:12 +0000

“Stupid things are happening all the time! Why aren’t you posting about them?”
–Overheard in my office by someone complaining that I haven’t posted in awhile.

We’re down with 2 of these 3 things. You can decide which 2.

eavesdropdc — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:35:51 +0000

Woman explaining to her friend why she sometimes doesn’t want to go out on Friday nights:
“Sometimes I just want to smoke a bowl, check Facebook, and masturbate.”

–overheard during a loud convo on the metro.

When Tough Love Isn’t Enough

eavesdropdc — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 14:30:50 +0000

A group of co-workers in the West End discussing the show Hoarders on A&E. Two guys in the group:

Guy #1: Those just people have a bad case of laziness. You know what they need?
Guy #2: Yeah, they need some hard love.

(other co-workers in group look disgusted)

Guy #1: Uh, they need tough love. Tough love. I think hard love is something entirely different.

Maxiflex’d!

eavesdropdc — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:39:29 +0000

Two workmates at the Starbucks, 14th and New York Ave.

Woman: I’m jealous of ______, she has Maxiflex.
Man: you’re jealous of her tampons?
Woman (looking disgusted): It’s the name of her work schedule.

Way to break the fourth wall.

eavesdropdc — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 13:50:54 +0000

Coffee klatch overheard at the headquarters of a national intelligence agency:

Guy 1: “…the whole situation was really, I dunno, ‘Saved by the Bell-ish.’”
Guy 2: “Shouldn’t that be ‘Saved by the Bell-y?’”
Guy 1: “‘Saved by the Belly?’ No, that was the one with Roseanne Barr.”

Isn’t there an app for that?

eavesdropdc — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 13:56:44 +0000

Heard on the sidewalk in front of Metro Center:

Woman A – Oh, no!
Woman B (a nearby stranger) – Is everything all right?
Woman A – I think I forgot to lock my car.
Woman B – Where did you leave it?
Woman A – In East Falls Church. (Stops, takes out her car key fob, points it at the sky, and presses the “Door Lock” button.)
Woman B – Um, I think that you have to be pretty close to your car for that to work.
Woman A – (Looking annoyed) Well, I’ll just have to ask my dealer about that!