Eavesdrop DC

Guy 1: Hey did I tell you guys that I saw Alex Ovechkin in his Mercedes?
Guy 2: Whats an O’Vegican?? Is that like a Vegan Mexican?
Guy 3: Clearly you don’t follow sports whatsoever.

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“If you grew up in LA, the White House is like, ghetto.”
–Cleveland Park

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Overheard at office in West End:
Guy 1: I got to keep running everyday so I can get those surfboard abs.
Guy 2: You mean washboard abs?
Guy 1: No, surfboard. You know, abs so good someone could surf on them.

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Place – National Portrait Gallery at the Presidential Portrait Exhibit
Woman 1 to Guard: “Where is Ben Franklin’s portrait? We can’t find it and really need to see it”
Guard: “Umm… he wasn’t a president”
Woman 2: “Well, we both work for the post office and he was the first postmaster general. We can’t go home without seeing [...]

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Two ladies walking down the hallway at the HQ of a major government agency:
Lady 1: “They couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Some people said he had that Jesus bleeding thing…you know…ah…
Lady 2: “Hemophi–”
Lady 1: “Stigamosis.”

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“Michele Bachmann thinks Planned Parenthood wants to be known as the “LensCrafters of big abortion.” I think Michele Bachmann wants to be known as the “scarecrow of knowledge.”

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Two young girls in Forever 21 dressing rooms, Pentagon City.
Girl 1: Ooh, I love this dress. It would be perfect for a funeral!
Girl 2: You’re soo right.
Girl 1: Hopefully someone dies soon.
Girl 2: If my sister dies, you can totally wear it to the funeral.

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Guy to girl: she was hot! H-o-t-h.

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Wisconsin Avenue and Friendship Blvd:
Three girls, late teens, presumably from out of town:
“Did we pass it? I think we passed it. This doesn’t look like Friendship Heights.”
They look around – “That is Saks Fifth Avenue! We are on Fifth Avenue! We definitely went too far.”

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Overheard in a Home Depot in Silver Spring (in the door section)
Man 1: This is the exact one I used to have, until that damn arsonist stole it
Man 2: Umm, don’t arsonists usually burn things?
Man 1: I don’t know, he must have been out of matches or something.

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