Eavesdrop DC

Guy 1: You’re an asshole.
Guy 2: I know. That’s why I bought a Mac. That way people know I’m an asshole as soon as they enter the room.
–George Mason

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Two young professional females in an elevator at a national intelligence agency:
YPF 1: I’m totally up for any mentoring I can get.
YPF 2: You’re so right. I love being mented.

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Nice grandma woman in her 70’s walking her dog. The puppy is refusing to move from the spot its standing.
Woman to the puppy – “C’mon Chaz you douchebag”

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Overheard on the street outside Ford’s Theater.
“Hey, It’s Ford’s Theater. That is where Jefferson was stabbed.”

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On the 32/36 bus, at Penn & 13th.
Tourist Kid: Mom, what state is Washington in?
Tourist Mom: Well, Washington, DC is a city AND a state.
Me: (as I’m getting off the bus) Not quite.

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Guy: So I just read the new Mark Twain autobiography.
Woman: Oh that’s sounds interesting. Who wrote it?
-Reagan National Airport

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Liquor Store at corner of 22nd and P
Two guys are looking at the beer case.
First Guy: We need toilet paper, too.
Second Guy: We should just pick up a phone book.
First Guy, wistfully: Yeah, those things last forever.

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Meter man at 10PM: “You can run from the Ticket Man but you can’t hide! Come on people, Baby Fenty needs a new pair o’ shoes.”
(Editorial note: where in the district do you still have to pay meters at 10 PM?)

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Two guys in an office. One types a few things and then exclaims “Damn! Why does everything have to be so complicated for the sake of complication?!”
Other guy nods wisely and replies. “Just like Avril Lavigne says.”

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On a local college campus. Two students walk by an older man handing out pocket Bibles.
Girl 1: Everyone always hands out the New Testament. What ever happened to the Old Testament?
Girl 2: Face it, no one cares about the Old Testament anymore.

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