Eavesdrop DC

And maybe get me a face shield?

eavesdropdc — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:31:46 +0000

“Did she tell you how hard it was going to hit you in the face? 68 miles per hour. Do you need me to draft up a legal waiver?”

Boom! Pow! Smack! Face Sweat!

eavesdropdc — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:08:06 +0000

Guy in costume store wearing a Batman mask:

“Man this is hot, I don’t know how Batman does it all the time.”

Burr-ned

eavesdropdc — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:52:42 +0000

Overheard in rush-hour traffic through an open window as we crawled south on North Washington Street, Alexandria: “NO! It’s AARON Burr, not Raymond Burr! Jee-zus!…”

I’m willing you my self respect.

eavesdropdc — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:24:15 +0000

“You promised your mom on her deathbed you wouldn’t cheat on me.”

–Adams Morgan

It is true.

eavesdropdc — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 20:57:12 +0000

“Stupid things are happening all the time! Why aren’t you posting about them?”
–Overheard in my office by someone complaining that I haven’t posted in awhile.

Lacrosse – now with more racism.

eavesdropdc — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 14:33:25 +0000

Girl in Pentagon City talking to friends:

“I watched lacrosse for the first time the other day. I don’t get it. They just run around and hit each other with sticks. It’s like Rodney King.”

The Smithsonian is the People’s Museum

eavesdropdc — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 14:44:16 +0000

In the Earth, Moon, Meteorites section of National Museum of Natural History: Man resting arm on a large meteorite to wife, in complete deadpan: “Honey, can you smell what the rock is cookin’?”

We’re down with 2 of these 3 things. You can decide which 2.

eavesdropdc — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:35:51 +0000

Woman explaining to her friend why she sometimes doesn’t want to go out on Friday nights:
“Sometimes I just want to smoke a bowl, check Facebook, and masturbate.”

–overheard during a loud convo on the metro.

When Tough Love Isn’t Enough

eavesdropdc — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 14:30:50 +0000

A group of co-workers in the West End discussing the show Hoarders on A&E. Two guys in the group:

Guy #1: Those just people have a bad case of laziness. You know what they need?
Guy #2: Yeah, they need some hard love.

(other co-workers in group look disgusted)

Guy #1: Uh, they need tough love. Tough love. I think hard love is something entirely different.

Maxiflex’d!

eavesdropdc — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:39:29 +0000

Two workmates at the Starbucks, 14th and New York Ave.

Woman: I’m jealous of ______, she has Maxiflex.
Man: you’re jealous of her tampons?
Woman (looking disgusted): It’s the name of her work schedule.