Coffee klatch overheard at the headquarters of a national intelligence agency:
Guy 1: “…the whole situation was really, I dunno, ‘Saved by the Bell-ish.’”
Guy 2: “Shouldn’t that be ‘Saved by the Bell-y?’”
Guy 1: “‘Saved by the Belly?’ No, that was the one with Roseanne Barr.”
Heard on the sidewalk in front of Metro Center:
Woman A – Oh, no!
Woman B (a nearby stranger) – Is everything all right?
Woman A – I think I forgot to lock my car.
Woman B – Where did you leave it?
Woman A – In East Falls Church. (Stops, takes out her car key fob, points it at the sky, and presses the “Door Lock” button.)
Woman B – Um, I think that you have to be pretty close to your car for that to work.
Woman A – (Looking annoyed) Well, I’ll just have to ask my dealer about that!
Guy 1: Hey did I tell you guys that I saw Alex Ovechkin in his Mercedes?
Guy 2: Whats an O’Vegican?? Is that like a Vegan Mexican?
Guy 3: Clearly you don’t follow sports whatsoever.
“If you grew up in LA, the White House is like, ghetto.”
–Cleveland Park
Overheard at office in West End:
Guy 1: I got to keep running everyday so I can get those surfboard abs.
Guy 2: You mean washboard abs?
Guy 1: No, surfboard. You know, abs so good someone could surf on them.
Place – National Portrait Gallery at the Presidential Portrait Exhibit
Woman 1 to Guard: “Where is Ben Franklin’s portrait? We can’t find it and really need to see it”
Guard: “Umm… he wasn’t a president”
Woman 2: “Well, we both work for the post office and he was the first postmaster general. We can’t go home without seeing his picture”
Two ladies walking down the hallway at the HQ of a major government agency:
Lady 1: “They couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Some people said he had that Jesus bleeding thing…you know…ah…
Lady 2: “Hemophi–”
Lady 1: “Stigamosis.”
A mother and daughter are waiting at the corner of Wisconsin Ave. and N Street in Georgetown:
Mother: You really embarrassed me last night in front of the other parents. You make me look like a terrible mother. Please don’t do that again, I’ll pay you money to make me look like a better mother.
“Michele Bachmann thinks Planned Parenthood wants to be known as the “LensCrafters of big abortion.” I think Michele Bachmann wants to be known as the “scarecrow of knowledge.”
Two young girls in Forever 21 dressing rooms, Pentagon City.
Girl 1: Ooh, I love this dress. It would be perfect for a funeral!
Girl 2: You’re soo right.
Girl 1: Hopefully someone dies soon.
Girl 2: If my sister dies, you can totally wear it to the funeral.