Young girl: “Do you know Justin Bieber is really 35?”
Young boy (her brother?): “No he’s not! He’s 30″
Metro, Red line @shady grove
It’s been so long, we’ve learned to care about Justin Bieber. No, not really.
August 12th, 2010 · Uncategorized
Every little thing was indeed all right.
August 4th, 2010 · Uncategorized
Black guy with dreadlocks runs by sprinting for bus and drops his wallet.
White woman trying to get his attention: Sir? Sir! Hey Bob Marley!
Guy stops dead and turns around.
- Pentagon bus stop
I don’t trust those little plates
July 28th, 2010 · Tourons (Tourist + Moron)
Two older tourists passing by Jaleo in downtown DC. One stops, looks at the restaurant, and mutters to the other “Tapas is a scam.”
Just like high school all over again
July 21st, 2010 · Hill
Member of Congress to two staffers exiting an elevator: “You just got off the Members’ elevator, right? DON’T DO THAT!”
–Longworth
That’s why I had a kid
July 13th, 2010 · Uncategorized
Overheard in an elevator in a government building.
Woman #1 (woman’s name) went to the Gay pride event last week.
Woman #2 I didn’t know she’s Gay?
Woman #1 She’s not, she just went to get out of work.
When you really need gin, you don’t care what kind it is.
July 9th, 2010 · Uncategorized
[Sitting at the oyster bar in Old Ebbitt… 4 guys walk in looking like the dudes from “Three 6 Mafia”]
Bartender: Can I help you gentlemen?
Three 6 dude:
Bartender: Do you want Bombay or…?
Three 6 dude:
Bartender:
A more interesting FOJ than some…
July 6th, 2010 · Uncategorized
Police officer at checkpoint: “If you have guns, knives or weed, come see me. We’ll just talk, I promise.”
–4th of July, National Mall
I’d bet money this was outside of Clarendon Ballroom.
July 2nd, 2010 · Clarendon, Drugs and Booze
Drunk guy to drunk girl outside bar in Arlington after last call: “So slick, so sexy, just like you.”
Just about made me gag
Thank you, DC Public Schools
June 30th, 2010 · Dumb chicks
During Jury Orientation in the Moultrie Courthouse.
Lady in the row in front of me: “Um, I have a question. The form I filled out says that if I don’t get picked, I have to come back in 2 years. But now you’re telling me I’ll have to come back in 24 months. So I’m confused. Which is it? 24 months or 2 years?”
Guy in the row behind me: “Thank you, DC Public Schools.”
Ice Ice Baby
June 29th, 2010 · Metro
Overheard on a yellow line train near Pentagon City:
Guy 1: daAAAmn, I need a bitch!!!
Guy 2: you coulda had one at U Street!!! . . . but I guess she was blinded by your ice . . .
Guy 1: yeah, I guess so . . . (as he fondly gazes at his bling necklaces, one of which reads “NASTY”)