A mother and daughter are waiting at the corner of Wisconsin Ave. and N Street in Georgetown:
Mother: You really embarrassed me last night in front of the other parents. You make me look like a terrible mother. Please don’t do that again, I’ll pay you money to make me look like a better mother.
“Michele Bachmann thinks Planned Parenthood wants to be known as the “LensCrafters of big abortion.” I think Michele Bachmann wants to be known as the “scarecrow of knowledge.”
Two young girls in Forever 21 dressing rooms, Pentagon City.
Girl 1: Ooh, I love this dress. It would be perfect for a funeral!
Girl 2: You’re soo right.
Girl 1: Hopefully someone dies soon.
Girl 2: If my sister dies, you can totally wear it to the funeral.
Guy to girl: she was hot! H-o-t-h.
Wisconsin Avenue and Friendship Blvd:
Three girls, late teens, presumably from out of town:
“Did we pass it? I think we passed it. This doesn’t look like Friendship Heights.”
They look around – “That is Saks Fifth Avenue! We are on Fifth Avenue! We definitely went too far.”
Overheard in a Home Depot in Silver Spring (in the door section)
Man 1: This is the exact one I used to have, until that damn arsonist stole it
Man 2: Umm, don’t arsonists usually burn things?
Man 1: I don’t know, he must have been out of matches or something.
Guy 1: You’re an asshole.
Guy 2: I know. That’s why I bought a Mac. That way people know I’m an asshole as soon as they enter the room.
Two young professional females in an elevator at a national intelligence agency:
YPF 1: I’m totally up for any mentoring I can get.
YPF 2: You’re so right. I love being mented.
Nice grandma woman in her 70′s walking her dog. The puppy is refusing to move from the spot its standing.
Woman to the puppy – “C’mon Chaz you douchebag”
Overheard on the street outside Ford’s Theater.
“Hey, It’s Ford’s Theater. That is where Jefferson was stabbed.”