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Eavesdrop DC

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Looking for a side job – you can pay me to be a good child

June 6th, 2011 · Georgetown

A mother and daughter are waiting at the corner of Wisconsin Ave. and N Street in Georgetown:

Mother: You really embarrassed me last night in front of the other parents. You make me look like a terrible mother. Please don’t do that again, I’ll pay you money to make me look like a better mother.

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This was super relevant when it was submitted back in April. Whoops.

June 2nd, 2011 · Uncategorized

“Michele Bachmann thinks Planned Parenthood wants to be known as the “LensCrafters of big abortion.” I think Michele Bachmann wants to be known as the “scarecrow of knowledge.”

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Black tie affair and sisterly love

June 1st, 2011 · Uncategorized

Two young girls in Forever 21 dressing rooms, Pentagon City.

Girl 1: Ooh, I love this dress. It would be perfect for a funeral!
Girl 2: You’re soo right.
Girl 1: Hopefully someone dies soon.
Girl 2: If my sister dies, you can totally wear it to the funeral.

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You mean she’s a fictional planet in the Star Wars universe? Interesting.

April 18th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Guy to girl: she was hot! H-o-t-h.

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You should have noticed when you passed Saks 3rd and 4th Ave.

April 13th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Wisconsin Avenue and Friendship Blvd:
Three girls, late teens, presumably from out of town:
“Did we pass it? I think we passed it. This doesn’t look like Friendship Heights.”
They look around – “That is Saks Fifth Avenue! We are on Fifth Avenue! We definitely went too far.”

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This must be a multitalented criminal…

April 8th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Overheard in a Home Depot in Silver Spring (in the door section)

Man 1: This is the exact one I used to have, until that damn arsonist stole it
Man 2: Umm, don’t arsonists usually burn things?
Man 1: I don’t know, he must have been out of matches or something.

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Wait, does Justin Long attend GMU?

March 28th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Guy 1: You’re an asshole.
Guy 2: I know. That’s why I bought a Mac. That way people know I’m an asshole as soon as they enter the room.

–George Mason

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Mented – new super secret spy term

March 24th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Two young professional females in an elevator at a national intelligence agency:

YPF 1: I’m totally up for any mentoring I can get.
YPF 2: You’re so right. I love being mented.

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Yeah, Chaz is a weird name for a dog.

March 3rd, 2011 · Uncategorized

Nice grandma woman in her 70′s walking her dog. The puppy is refusing to move from the spot its standing.

Woman to the puppy – “C’mon Chaz you douchebag”

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It’s a dangerous place for all presidents, apparently!

February 1st, 2011 · Uncategorized

Overheard on the street outside Ford’s Theater.

“Hey, It’s Ford’s Theater. That is where Jefferson was stabbed.”

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